Answers · Awakening

What Is a Spiritual Awakening, and What Are the Stages?

A spiritual awakening is when you start seeing past the life, beliefs and systems you were handed and begin to feel what's actually true for you, through your intuition, your body and your energy. It usually moves in stages: something whispers, the old life stops working, there's a disorienting in-between often called the dark night of the soul, and then you start building a life that matches who you've become. There's no set timeline, and the stages loop more than they march.

If you're somewhere in the middle of this and wondering how long it lasts or what comes next, you're asking exactly the right questions. Here's how I walk the women I work with through it.

What is a spiritual awakening?

A spiritual awakening happens within you. Nothing outside of you has to be found or earned first; all we're doing is turning on the switches, illuminating the light that's already inside of you. It can start with a loss, a big birthday, burnout, a move, or with nothing you can point to at all, and however it starts, it tends to unfold in a way you'll recognize.

The stages of spiritual awakening

Teachers count anywhere from 3 to 19 stages. I see six movements, and they loop; you might move through one, circle back, and meet it again at a deeper level a year later.

1. The whisper

Something feels off, and you can't say what. Your intuition starts nudging: a thought that won't leave, a pull toward something you can't explain, a quiet no to things you used to say yes to. The whisper is gentle, and it's easy to talk yourself out of it for a long time.

2. Waking up

Then you start to see. We're waking up to the power. We're waking up to the injustice. We're waking up to the patriarchal standards. We're waking up to the confinement. The rules you lived by start to look like rules someone else wrote, and once you see them, you see them everywhere.

3. Nothing works anymore

And then we're looking around and we're like, does nothing work? No, nothing works. It's time for a change. The strategies, routines and goals that used to carry you stop working, and life can look fine on paper while feeling harder than it should. I wrote about that stretch in why everything feels so hard when life looks fine.

4. The in-between, or the dark night of the soul

This is the stretch most people call the dark night of the soul. The old systems and structures are crumbling, and so is the part of you that incarnated into it. That old version is still running inside of you while you're reaching for the new system and structure. It can feel disorienting, lonely and slow, and it's often where women tell me they feel completely lost; I wrote about that in why you feel lost in life.

5. Changing the life

Then the inner change asks for outer change. You're faced with changing your relationships, maybe getting a divorce… changing a job, changing careers. This is often the scariest stage, because other people can see it. Take it one decision at a time, and let each one come from what's true for you now.

6. Building the life after

You've woken up and nothing works anymore, so how do you build a life after that? You build it slowly and on purpose, choosing your work, your relationships, your home and your days from who you've become, until your life starts to match you. This is what I call the next evolution: living as more of who you actually are.

How do you know which stage you're in?

Look at where most of your energy is going right now. If you're noticing that something is off, you're close to the whisper. If you can see the systems and nothing works, you're waking up. If the old you is still running while you reach for something new, you're in the in-between, and if you're making real changes or building on them, you're in the last two. You can be in more than one at once. If you're still sorting out whether this is an awakening at all, start with the signs of a spiritual awakening.

What to do after a spiritual awakening

Keep tending the two things that carry you through every stage: your nervous system and your field. Quiet time each day, rest, your body, time outside, and the people who let you be who you're becoming all help. A few minutes of quiet is enough to begin; my free 20-day meditation series is one gentle way in.

And follow the whisper over the logic. Your logical mind will always have a reason to wait, to be realistic, to go back to what used to work. The whisper knows where you're headed, so let it have a vote in every decision you make from here.

Common questions

This article is for education and everyday wellbeing; it isn't medical advice. If you're struggling with your sleep, mood or health, please talk with a licensed professional, and reach out if you need support. Keep reading: all answers · the free meditation series · about Tamara Rose